Defining Reality
by HoshiHikari
Summary: Life’s been kind to Harry 25 years after the final battle. He’ a loving husband, a dedicated father and a devoted godfather. However that is all about to change when Harry agrees to assist Professor Teddy Lupin with his lesson on boggarts.


**Defining Reality**

**Written by:** HoshiHikari

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter. All characters belong to J.K. Rowling.

**Summary:** Life's been kind to Harry 25 years after the final battle. He' a loving husband, a dedicated father and a devoted godfather. However that is all about to change when Harry agrees to assist Professor Teddy Lupin with his lesson on boggarts. Watch as Harry's greatest fear shatters his entire perception of reality. Will Harry be able to fight off the demons of the past and come to terms with death, loss and deception or will he be destroyed by his mid-life crisis?

**Warning: **Major spoilers from DH! Character death.

**Pairing:** original parings plus Teddy/Victoria and Scropius/Rose

"I appreciate this." The voice of Remus Lupin echoed through the staffroom. He was standing by the doorway, observing Harry Potter as he physically moved an old wardrobe to the end of the room. He watched carefully, his eyes following every movement of the 42 year old man.

"If I didn't know better I would have thought that I was teaching again." Remus continued. "What an uncanny resemblance to your first boggart lesson."

"Hey Remus, why don't you just come and help me set this up. This wardrobe is pretty heavy you know." Harry ignored the man's comments as he continued to sweat away at his task.

"You know I can't do that Harry." Remus replied ever so softly. "because I'm not here."

"What do you mean you're not here Moony?" Harry tilted his head to the side and questioned with the curiosity of a small child. He stopped what he was doing and walked over to Remus. Reaching out he grabbed the man's hands and squeezed them tightly. "We've been through this a million times already. I can feel you, I can see and hear you, I can speak to you and" here Harry took in a deep breath. "you still smell like wild grass. All my senses tell me you're here, so you must be here. Didn't Romulus once say to follow my instincts, which are good and nearly always right? I'm telling you my _instincts_ are telling me that you are here, my entire being is telling me that you are here."

"Harry…"

Harry didn't pay attention. He let go of one of the man's hands and turned his attention back to the wardrobe. Using his wand he tried to adjust the object into position. He fidgeted his wand a few times, frowning as the wardrobe didn't seem to be in place.

"Damn it! Why can't I get this thing in place? What do you think is wrong with it Remus? This is the room you taught us boggarts, this is the same wardrobe you used and believe it or not, that is the same boggart in there." As Harry said this, he waived his arms at each object that was being described. "It's all here, it's all the same, but something's wrong, something doesn't feel right."

"Harry, perhaps this wasn't a good idea." Remus spoke quietly, waving his own hands at the wardrobe. "It was wrong of Teddy to ask this of you."

"I admit I was surprised when Teddy asked me to assist him to teach boggarts to his 3rd years and dementors to his 7th years. You know I lack teaching experience, but then so does Teddy with this being his first teaching year and all. I suppose I have more experience with boggarts though and so that is why he asked me. He thinks he can hit two birds with one stone—teach 3rd year boggarts and 7th year dementors. I thought that modeling it after your class wouldn't hurt." Here Harry stopped waiving his wand and instead threw his hands up in frustration. "Besides, there is nothing wrong with helping family."

Remus stood there quietly, letting Harry rant.

"What's wrong Remus? What's wrong with this?" In an instant Harry was back at the wardrobe. This time he was banging it with a fist. When there was no response from Remus, he kicked the wardrobe—hard.

"Why can't this bloody wardrobe be where it belongs? How can I model after your class when this thing won't go where it belongs?"

* * *

Harry shifted his weight from foot to foot as he waited for Teddy to bring the seventh year Gryffindors and Slytherins down to the staffroom. He was nervous not only because both Teddy and Albus would be there at his first class but also because it would be the first time he faces a boggart since after the war. Harry wasn't sure if he was still afraid of dementors, he merely assumed he was. Besides it didn't matter since Harry usually feared the abnormal and whatever the abnormal was he and Teddy could just teach about it.

"Remus did you feel so queasy the first time you taught?" Harry asked. He was expecting an answer of reassurance, but there was none. In fact when he looked around to locate Remus, he found that the man wasn't in the staffroom. Harry only had a brief moment to wonder where the man had gone when the staffroom opened and in filed the students. Harry gave his son a weary smile.

"Good morning class. Welcome to Defense Against the Dark Arts." Teddy Lupin's voice brought Harry's attention to the speaker. "As you are all in your 7th and last year at Hogwarts, I believe that I can cut short introductions and proceed directly to class." Teddy paused and turned his attention to Harry. "Would you like to add anything Mr. Potter?"

Harry jumped slightly at being addressed like that by Teddy. Maybe it was the atmosphere or how Teddy was dressed today, but for a minute there Harry had been absolutely sure that it had been Remus who was speaking.

"As you all know my name is Harry Potter. As I am not your professor, you may all address me as either Mr. Potter or Sir. " Harry introduced himself briefly. "I will be assisting Professor Lupin…" Harry paused abruptly as he said that. Professor Lupin just reminded Harry of Remus, and thinking of Remus made Harry wonder where the man was.

"I will be assisting Professor Teddy with today's lesson." Harry corrected the name for his own comfort.

"The first lesson will be about dementors." Teddy picked up from there, noting his godfather's discomfort of calling him Professor Lupin. "As I am not allowed to use a real dementor for demonstration, I have come up with the next best thing, a boggart. Mr. Potter has agreed to put up with his fear for the duration of the class so that I can teach you about dementors and a method to which humans can counter them. Are there any questions so far?"

"Father said you learned the patrounus charm—the method in which we can counter dementors—when you were thirteen. Is that correct sir?"

Harry's eyes shifted to the boy that was standing next to his son.

"That is correct Mr. Malfoy." Harry replied. "But I do not see its relevance."

"I was wondering why dementors are part of the 7th year curriculum when you were able to deflect them with ease during your third year." Scropius Malfoy, best friend with Albus Potter continued. There were nods of agreement to that statement.

"Times and circumstances changed. There had been dementors roaming around Hogwarts back when I was in my third year. Considering my history and what you will learn are the nature of dementors, then you will understand why it was of utmost importance that Professor Lupin, that is Remus Lupin, felt the need to teach me the charm." Harry replied hotly. He breathed deeply trying to calm down and remind himself that this was Scropius who was Albus's best friend and Rose Weasley's boyfriend, or more accurately seen in Harry's eyes, the trio of their year, asking the question.

"That is enough Mr. Malfoy.' Teddy interrupted the silence. "Stop before I am forced to take points for making Mr. Potter uncomfortable. It is enough that he is here to face his fear, unprotected by his patronus in hopes that you may all learn their true nature. If you are going to be unproductive, then I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"I don't think that is necessary Teddy." Harry spoke up. "Mr. Malfoy asked a valid question and I answered him."

Teddy turned his attention to Harry and gave him a worried expression that could only belong to his father. Harry tore his gaze from Teddy's face and located the turquoise hair instead. "Are you sure this will be alright?"

Harry wasn't sure he was alright. Was it him, or did Teddy look extremely like Remus today?

"Get on with it Teddy. I rather you finish the demonstrations today so that I won't have to come back again, not that I won't if you need me. I rather not face my fear over a prolong amount of time. Dementors have always been a very touchy and delicate matter in my life."

Teddy's eyes shifted to locate Harry's. When he did, Harry immediately tore his gaze away again, this time turning his head to face the wardrobe. Even so, Teddy was sure Harry hadn't turn away fast enough for him to see his godfather's lips move to form the words 'I'm fine Remus'.

"Very well then." Teddy waited for a nod from Harry and when he got it, he swished his wand and unlocked the wardrobe.

Harry waited with his wand outstretched. Slowly the door to the wardrobe opened. Harry who had been expecting the temperature to be drastically lowered, was surprised when that did not happen. He was even more surprised when the door to the wardrobe was swung completely open and all he could see was darkness. He frowned, wondering if it was possible for the boggart to have escaped without his notice. Or maybe he wasn't afraid of boggarts anymore. Perhaps Harry was afraid of darkness? But that didn't make sense.

_"Well, well…I'm impressed._ _That suggests that what you fear most of all is—fear. Very wise, Harry."_

Harry shook his head as Remus' words floated into his mind. That didn't make sense, or maybe it did. Whatever the case he didn't want to be reminded of Remus right now.

"Professor, where's the dementor?" Rose asked the question that everyone was thinking. "Are you sure there is a boggart in there? If there is, then why isn't there anything tangable? Surely Mr. Potter is not afraid of darkness."

"Remus once said that what I fear most is fear itself." Harry stated quietly, his eyes still transfixed about the inside of the wardrobe. "Perhaps that is how the unknown is represented. I use to be afraid of dementors because they were foreign to me, but now that I know everything about them, I suppose I don't fear them anymore."

"I suppose that makes sense." Rose muttered to herself. She was going to add more when another student interrupted.

"But I think I do see something." A Gryffindor girl said. Her eyes were squinted as she looked at what was suppose to be Harry's boggart. "I think I can make out fingers grasping onto the left side of the wardrobe."

Like the rest of the classes attention, Harry's eyes were immediately drawn there. At first he didn't see anything but then when he focused hard enough, not only did he see fingers, but hands and then sleeves, an upper arm and so on. At last a man in shabby robes and a very familiar face stepped out of the wardrobe. The frown that Harry had been wearing on his face deepened.

"Is this some sick prank?" Harry demanded, completely flabbergasted by his boggart. "because this isn't funny. I told you to help me set up the wardrobe, not hide in it."

Boggart-Remus ignored the accusation.

"I'm not here." Remus Lupin said clearly as he stepped closer to Harry, causing the man to retreat. "I'm not here because I'm dead."

The boggart continued to approach Harry and Harry stumbled on his feet, falling splat on his behind. He watched as Remus continued to approach him. Harry didn't hear the unrest from the students behind him as they pointed fingers at his boggart. He didn't see Teddy and Albus trade shocked filled worry looks between them. All Harry could do was stare terrified at the face of his boggart.

"I am dead because of you." Even though the last line was barely audible, Remus might as well have shouted it. Each and every syllable thundered in Harry's ears. It was too much for Harry. Although he was pumped with adrenaline, his body would not respond. When finally Remus stretched out a hand and touched Harry's shoulder, all Harry could do was scream.

And what a bone chilling, ear deafening, panic evoking scream that was.

Harry didn't understand the fuss that everyone made about his boggart. Really all it was was that he had been surprised by Remus' prank and after he had overcome his surprise he screamed. Wasn't that what he was suppose to do in the event of meeting his boggart? Scream. Yes, that was it, and that was all there was to it. That was probably what Remus wanted, no, expected. Besides it wasn't even a boggart, it was Remus and his stupid prank, a prank that he couldn't resist. That was what it was and that was all there was to it. Besides even if it was a boggart, it wouldn't have transformed into Remus Lupin. Why would it? He wasn't afraid of Remus, was he? Of course not. Why would he be? Anyways he was terrified of dementors, he had been terrified of dementors all his life, he was terrified of them now, and he would be terrified of them for the rest of his life. No, that wasn't right either. Harry was phobic of dementors.

As Harry reassured himself of his greatest fear, he turned to face the wardrobe that now resided in the empty staffroom. He concentrated on his happiest memory before swishing his wand to release the boggart.

"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" Harry bellowed clearly, as though he was afraid his patronus won't form. He smiled with satisfactory when Prongs shot out from his wand. However the smile disappeared when Harry realized it wasn't a dementor that had appeared as his greatest fear.

"I'm not here." Remus Lupin said, stepping out of the wardrobe. "I'm not here because I'm dead." The boggart took a step forward. "I'm dead because of you."

This time Harry didn't step back. Instead he gave the approaching man a steady glare.

"Enough. You've had your fun Remus, now drop the act." Harry stated as calmly as he could. "I know you're not a boggart so don't pretend to be. You must have somehow slipped into the wardrobe while I wasn't paying attention, scared the boggart away and then threw a prank by pretending to be a boggart. Game over. Have you any idea how disturbed my class was to see you?"

"And shouldn't they be disturbed Potter?"

Harry jumped at the voice since he hadn't heard anyone enter. Hastily he turned to see Draco Malfoy leaning against the open door. He was so surprised that he didn't stop Malfoy when the man entered and pushed himself before Harry's boggart, though not directly in front of it.

"_Riddikulus_!" Malfoy stated clearly, waving his ward expertly at the boggart. Although Remus didn't change shape, he did retreat back into the wardrobe. The last thing Harry saw before the wardrobe was locked by Malfoy was Remus giving him a wink followed by a secretive, knowing smile.

"Out with it Potter." Malfoy drawled as he turned to face Harry. "Why are you afraid of Remus Lupin?"

Harry opened his mouth, snapped it shut, open his mouth again and then snapped it shut. He did it a few times until he was able to speak.

"Why would I be afraid of Remus?" Harry snapped, irritated. "Why are you here Malfoy?"

"Why do you think I am here? I'm here to cure you." Draco replied as though it was the most obvious answer in the world. "I'm a psychologist, and curing the mentally ill is what I do. I've been dragged from my office by letters from Teddy, Scropius, Rose, Ginny, Ron, Hermione, Victoria and others to come to Hogwarts immediately to cure one Harry Potter. Might I add each letter contained a hefty sum of galleons. Now out with it Potter. Why are you afraid of Remus Lupin?"

"I'm not mentally ill!" Harry retorted. "Oh my God!"

"I believe that was a boggart and that boggart was in the shape of Remus Lupin…"

"It's all a big misunderstanding! That wasn't a boggart. That was Remus and a sick prank of his." Harry interrupted. "I was setting up the staffroom before class started. Instead of helping me, he decided to pull a prank."

Draco's eyes widened and then narrowed with understanding.

"Ah, so this is worst then what's been previously reported."

"What's worst?"

"Your condition." Draco stated in a matter of fact way. "Your disorder. I'm surprised it was able to manifest and exist this long without anyone noticing it. Normally I'll be dancing with glee at your misfortune, but as I've accepted the task to cure you, then that is what I will do."

"Bloody hell! I'm not sick." Harry shouted. He was flinging his hands widely at the door. "Go check yourself. Remus Lupin is standing behind that door."

"Remus Lupin is dead." Malfoy stated calmly, unfazed by Harry's franticness. "He died in the final battle. He's been dead for 25 years."

At that Harry punched Malfoy in his face. With the force that Harry had put behind it, he wasn't surprised to find the blond tumble and drop to the floor. Blood was dripping from a broken nose.

"I can see him, I can hear him. I can touch him. I can smell him." Harry spoke rapidly. "I've been able to do that the last 25 years of my life. Remus isn't dead. He can't be dead. My instincts, my entire being says that he's alive. If I can't rely on my senses or my instinct then what can I rely on? For God's sake, it's kept me alive through the war and sane afterwards. Besides Remus once said that I should follow my instincts which are good and nearly always right."

A satisfied smile plastered across Harry's face when he saw that Malfoy was unable to retort. Deciding that he had done enough damage already, Harry stormed out of the staffroom.

* * *

Harry was still furious even after yelling and screaming at all those that had paid Malfoy to fix his mental disorder, a mental disorder that he didn't even have. One by one he had tracked them down to give a piece of his mind. One by one they had listen to him scream that he was sane and that Remus was alive in silence, their gaze betraying surprise and fear. They didn't need to speak for even in the silence Harry could tell that no one believed him. How could they not believe him? In fact it was because they didn't believe that he felt betrayed, not only had those who he loved betrayed him, but they had betrayed Remus as well. How could they all do that especially because Remus had been so supportive of Teddy and his life by being at every birthday celebration as well as all other special and major occasions such as Teddy and Victoria's marriage?

Thus once again Harry found himself standing in front of the wardrobe in the staffroom. This time he was going to drag Remus out of the wardrobe and bring him to meet everyone. Then Remus could confess to his prank and everything would be alright. Harry wouldn't be label with a mental illness and Remus surely wouldn't be dead if the world could see that he was alive.

"I'm not here. I'm not here because I'm dead. I'm dead because of you."

Harry practically jumped out of his skin even though he had been expecting to hear that. It wasn't just because of the statement, but because Remus' voice came behind him and that the wardrobe which was now open was once again empty.

"Bloody hell Remus!" Harry cried out, spinning on his feet a little too quickly in order to face the elder Lupin.

"I'm not here. I'm not here because I'm dead. I'm dead because of you." Remus repeated with a frown on his face. "What does that mean Harry? Why am I your boggart? Why are you afraid of me?"

"How should I know Remus?" Harry exploded, seeing that Remus still haven't let go of his act. "I should be asking that to you! How should I know why of all the pranks you pulled, this one had to be about death, and not just death but fear and death? It's not funny Remus. It really frightens me especially since you continue on with it. You know death is a very touchy subject for me. I've lost so many already. I can't lose you. One day I will lose you, but not today. You're still alive now. You're still here now. That's all that matters."

"I'm not here. I'm…"

"Damn it Remus! Are you even listening to me? ENOUGH!" Harry screamed the last word so loudly, he was sure the entire world would have heard it. Unfortunately for Harry, Remus didn't seem to have enough as he proceeded to ask questions.

"Am I dead Harry?" Remus asked quietly.

"NO! If you're dead then you wouldn't be here. You wouldn't have come back as a ghost because this world has nothing to offer you. You wouldn't be here because you know this will torture me." Harry stated with extreme certainty. "You wouldn't have been so cruel to come back and haunt me."

"Yet here I am haunting you."

Harry looked like he wanted to interrupt but Remus raised up a hand to silence the other.

"I am haunting you. I'm your boggart." Remus then cleared his throat. "Do you remember what boggarts are Harry?" Remus slipped into his Professor voice. "Boggarts show your greatest fear and as it appears I'm your greatest fear. Therefore I must be haunting you in a way."

"But you are not a boggart!" Harry retorted. "Besides why would I be afraid of you?"

Remus seemed to think as he studied Harry. "Why would you be afraid of me?"

"I don't know! I'm not afraid of you. It doesn't matter anyways because you're not a boggart!" Harry tried to stay calm. "I'm stick and tired of this game Remus. You've won okay? I don't want to play anymore."

"Perhaps you really aren't afraid of me." Remus pondered out loud. "But afraid of losing me. You're afraid that your friends are right and that I'm really dead and that I have been since the final battle. You're afraid that you've been delusional for the last 25 years of your life."

"I'm not delusional!"

"Then how can you explain me being here when everyone else thinks I'm dead." Remus gestured at himself. "Obviously I'm not a ghost or spirit since others would be able to see me if I really was one."

"You're not dead Remus. You can't be dead because the dead only have knowledge up to the point they lived until, but you have continual knowledge of the past until the present. The dead isn't interactive, but you are so therefore you can't be dead. As to why this isn't all in my head is because you are in front of me and not within me. Draco's a psychologist and I've been around his patients. I know the mentally ill when I see one and I am happy to say that I'm not one. I'm not delusional Remus, everyone else is."

* * *

He could feel that he was being watched. Even though his back was facing the door, he already knew who it was. Harry waited for his godson to enter the room, but at last when he noticed Teddy wasn't going to do so, he decided to make the other known that he knew he was being watched.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you Teddy." Harry spoke up, surprised that he actually meant his apology. "I'm sorry if I scared you. I'm sorry if I scared any of you." Here Harry turned to look at Teddy. He waived at the seat next to him so Teddy came over and sat down next to his godfather. "It's been a rough week."

The two sat in silence as neither knew what to say.

"If I didn't know you, I wouldn't have recognized you Teddy. Lucky for me I do know you. Regardless of how you look—how similar or dissimilar you look to your parents, especially your father, you're still you Teddy, and nothing will change that."

Relief and gratitude shone in Teddy's eyes as he transformed back to his usual Remus look alike self with turquoise hair.

"I thought it was best if you weren't reminded of dad because…"

"Teddy look at me." Harry said firmly leaving no room for argument. When Teddy did so, Harry continued. "Remus is Remus and you are you. You are your own person and I can see that. I've always seen that. I admit the older you get the more you resemble Remus, but that is all there is to it, resemblance. You aren't Remus and Remus isn't you, the way I'm not my dad and my dad is not me despite what Sirius and Remus sometimes think." Here Harry paused to let his words sink in. "I've never called you Remus. I've never done anything to treat you the way I would have if you were Remus…that is until now. I'm not delusional. If I was, I would have done that a long time ago."

Teddy's eyes widened at that. Seeing that Harry didn't continued, he choose this time to speak.

"I'm so sorry for the boggart thing. I never should have asked." Teddy mumbled. "It was wrong of me. I really didn't think I…"

"Will discover that your godfather is delusional and mentally sick." Harry chuckled at that. "Luckily I'm not delusional or mentally sick. If I was I would be calling you Remus or I would be Remus. I'm neither so I'm sane."

What Harry said made complete sense to Teddy and he sighed with relief.

"Or I would be delusional if Remus was dead and I've seen him for the last 25 years." Harry stated quietly. "but since he is alive, and I do see him, its quite obvious that I'm not delusional." Here Harry swept Teddy's face with his gaze and noticed Teddy shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

"Remus is alive." Harry repeated with absolute certainty.

* * *

"Thanks for coming Harry." Ron said the moment Harry stepped into the burrow through the floo network. Harry merely gave a nod of acknowledgement as he dust off his robes. When he was finished he looked up to see two of his best friends smiling at him.

"We aren't sure if you're still angry with us, but after hearing that you and Teddy had a pleasant conversation, I thought that perhaps we could try as well." Hermione said as she hesitantly stepped up to give Harry a hug. Harry returned it with open arms.

"Both of you are my best and oldest friends. Did you really expect me to stay angry with you over something so trivial?"

"But seeing the dead and refusing to admit that they are dead isn't a trivial thing at all." Ron spoke with cautious. Immediately Harry's head snapped over to him and his eyes narrowed dangerously.

"We're your friends Harry. We're your family. We realize that you miss Remus, we miss him too. We all miss the dead but there's nothing that can be done about it except to remember them in our memories." Hermione said and Harry's attention turned to her.

"He's not dead." Harry ground out.

"Remus Lupin died in the final battle. He has been dead for 25 years now."

"Impossible! I've seen him and I've heard him for the last 25 years."

"Harry."

"Look Ron and Hermione, enough people think I'm delusional already which I'm proud to say I'm not. One day I'll prove that to everyone. For now just leave me and Remus alone. If neither of you can do that then I'm going to leave and never return. Have any of you any idea how betrayed we feel. First you all call me ill when I'm not and then you go and say Remus isn't alive in which case he is since he'd been to every birthday celebration and graduation of the last quarter of a decade. "

"But Harry." Ron protested only to be interrupted by his wife.

"Very well Harry. We'll leave this alone. Besides we didn't invite you hear so that we can argue."

Harry doubted Hermione would really leave this alone, but for now he was thankful for the change in topic.

"There's something I want you to see. Ron says you've seen it before so there's nothing to worry about. We just thought that after seeing a boggart, you might like to see if this changed as well."

Harry raised an eyebrow. He had thought she said she was going to drop the topic. Still he didn't get a chance to speak as Hermione had stepped into a side room. Ron followed his wife. Seeing that he had no choice, Harry let out a sigh before doing the same.

Harry found himself stunned and his feet rooted to the floor as he spotted a mirror standing alone on the opposite side of the room. He was going to ask what this was about when he felt a push on his back and so he stumbled forward. The push was just enough for his curiosity to snap into action. Without realizing it, Harry found himself standing before the mirror. At first there was only his reflection but that soon changed when Remus stepped into view.

"Remus!" Harry exclaimed, delighted. He stared straight ahead, knowing that he didn't need to turn around to face his friends for surely they could see Remus as well without the need to point out the obvious.

"Curious, very curious." Remus was saying and Harry was suddenly thankful that these were his new greeting words instead of the usual 'I'm not here. I'm not here because I'm dead. I'm dead because of you.'

"Why am I here Harry?"

"Obviously because you're alive! As for why you're here exactly, I'm not sure. Nevertheless I'm glad because now that you're here, it can prove to Ron and Hermione that you aren't dead."

"Are you sure Harry? Am I dead? Everyone seems to believe so."

"No!"

"Then why am I your greatest desire? Is it possible that you desire that I am with you because subconsciously you know that I'm not really here, that I am truly dead?"

Harry was furious. He couldn't believe his ears. How could Remus start question his sanity as well when Harry was trying so hard that to prove that the werewolf was alive. Without realizing it Harry threw a fist at the mirror. Not caring that his fist was bleeding profusely, Harry spun on his toes to face Remus.

"God I can't believe this. Seriously I can't understand this!" As Harry said this, he roughly pushed Remus out of his way and stormed away. As he passed Ron and Hermione, he briefly noticed that the former's face was in fear and the latter's face was in confusion.

* * *

"Sit down Potter." Draco Malfoy was saying with his wand pointing straight at Harry. Harry narrowed his eyes as he continued to disobey the request.

"Why should I Malfoy? You're the one who rushed in here like a manic and then tried to order me around. You have no right to be in my house let along order me around." Harry said. "If it wasn't for the fact that you're Sirius' cousin or because we're related because of that distant connection that lies in Teddy's blood, or that our sons are best friends or the fact that I happen to approve of Scropius and Rose's relationship, I would have hexed you so hard for intruding and making such demands that by the time I throw you out, you'll be seeing Lucius again."

"And if it wasn't for these connections I wouldn't be here trying to heal that damn mind of yours." Malfoy grounded out, doing his best to not fire a curse at Harry. "Did you really think I had accepted the money? I'm doing this because we're family." Then in a softer voice he continued with "I remember what you've done for mother and I directly after the war, despite all that father had done to you, what I've done to you. Didn't you claim some time about being family since Remus married Tonks and Tonks' mom is a Black and also mother's sister and therefore by extension family and of course Harry Potter must help family. Besides Sirius was as good as your father and well he's mother's cousin as well. Of course neither of them were really your blood family at that time but you still did what you did for us. If you can reach out for family then, then what makes you think I can't do the same now when Potters and Malfoys really do have a family connection even if its separated by a sea of Blacks and Weasleys?"

"Then you can turn around and leave. I'm not delusional." Harry replied just as quietly. "If this has anything to do with feeling that you owe me a debt or something like that then consider it erased."

Malfoy ponder this before deciding to disregard the second half of what Harry said.

"I strongly disagree with that Potter. I believe that seeing Remus as a boggart and as what's reflected when you view the Mirror of Erised in addition to seeing him everywhere for the past 25 years proves that you are mentally ill."

"What Mirror of Er..."

"Legilimens." Draco interrupted when his patience finally wore off. He decided he might as well start his healing method by discovering the cause behind Harry's illness. Talking to Harry didn't seem to work and Draco was too proud to just give up and to leave Harry to suffer when he knew he could heal the man. Draco immediately felt resistance but he persisted and wouldn't let go. At last a memory began to form and he concentrated on it.

_Harry was standing before the Mirror of Desire with Remus being reflected as his object of desire. _

_"Remus!"__ Harry exclaimed._

"Curious, very curious." _Remus__ was saying. "Why am I here Harry?"_

_"Obviously because you're alive!__ As for why you're here exactly, I'm not sure. Nevertheless I'm glad because now that you're here, it can prove to Ron and Hermione that you aren't dead."_

_"Are you sure Harry? Am I dead? Everyone seems to believe so."_

_"No!"_

_"Then why am I your greatest desire? Is it possible that you desire that I am with you because subconsciously you know that I'm not really here, that I am truly dead?"_

Draco found himself surprised that a desire could be speak and try to reason. He watched Harry punch the mirror and then spin around to face Remus. Draco's jaw fell when he himself saw that Remus was standing there in front of Harry, no, in front of him. He didn't get a chance to ponder this though when another memory pushed forward.

_Harry was standing in front of the wardrobe in the staffroom. _

Draco watched the wardrobe open and found that it was empty. He wasn't surprised really since he had heard Teddy had had the boggart moved after the disturbing discovery.

_"I'm not here. I'm not here because I'm dead. I'm dead because of you."_

Draco mimics Harry when he himself nearly jumped out of his own skin. He spun around quickly to stare at the source of the voice.

_"Bloody hell Remus!"__ Harry cried out, spinning on his feet a little too quickly in order to face the elder Lupin. _

_"I'm not here. I'm not here because I'm dead. I'm dead because of you." Remus repeated with a frown on his face. "What does that mean Harry? Why am I your boggart? Why are you afraid of me?"_

_"How should I know Remus?" Harry exploded. "I should be asking that to you! How should I know why of all the pranks you pulled, this one had to be about death, and not just death but fear and death? It's not funny Remus. It really frightens me especially since you continue on with it. You know death is a very touchy subject for me. I've lost so many already. I can't lose you. One day I will lose you, but not today. You're still alive now. You're still here now. That's all that matters."_

_"I'm not here. I'm…"_

_"Damn it Remus! Are you even listening to me? ENOUGH!" Harry screamed the last word loudly, _

_"Am I dead Harry?" Remus asked quietly. _

_"NO! If you're dead then you wouldn't be here. You wouldn't have come back as a ghost because this world has nothing to offer you. You wouldn't be here because you know this will torture me." Harry stated with extreme certainty. "You wouldn't have been so cruel to come back and haunt me."_

_"Yet here I am haunting you." _

_Harry looked like he wanted to interrupt but Remus raised up a hand to silence the other._

_"I am haunting you. I'm your boggart." Remus then cleared his throat. "Do you remember what boggarts are Harry?" Remus slipped into his Professor voice. "Boggarts show your greatest fear and as it appears I'm your greatest fear. Therefore I must be haunting you in a way."_

_"But you are not a boggart!" Harry retorted. "Besides why would I be afraid of you?"_

_Remus__ seemed to think as he studied Harry. "Why would you be afraid of me?" _

_"I don't know! I'm not afraid of you. It doesn't matter anyways because you're not a boggart!" Harry tried to stay calm. "I'm stick and tired of this game Remus. You've won okay? I don't want to play anymore."_

_"Perhaps you really aren't afraid of me." Remus pondered out loud. "But afraid of losing me. You're afraid that your friends are right and that I'm really dead and that I have been since the final battle. You're afraid that you've been delusional for the last 25 years of your life."_

_"I'm not delusional!"_

_"Then how can you explain me being here when everyone else thinks I'm dead." Remus gestured at himself. "Obviously I'm not a ghost or spirit since others would be able to see me if I really was one."_

_"You're not dead Remus. You can't be dead because the dead only have knowledge up to the point they lived until, but you have continual knowledge of the past until the present. The dead isn't interactive, but you are so therefore you can't be dead. As to why this isn't all in my head is because you are in front of me and not within me. Draco's a psychologist and I've been around his patients. I know the mentally ill when I see one and I am happy to say that I'm not one. I'm not delusional Remus, everyone else is."_

To say that Draco was surprised with Harry's delusion was an understatement. When if ever was a delusion so interactive? Again he didn't get a chance to ponder this as the memory began to shift again. This time he spotted both Harry and Remus straight away.

_"I appreciate this." The voice of Remus Lupin echoed through the staffroom. He was standing by the doorway, observing Harry Potter as he physically moved an old wardrobe to the end of the room. He watched carefully, his eyes following every movement of the 42 year old man. _

_"If I didn't know better I would have thought I was teaching again." Remus continued. "What an uncanny resemblance to your first boggart lesson."_

_"Hey Remus, why don't you just come and help me set this up. This wardrobe is pretty heavy you know." Harry ignored the man's comments as he continued to sweat away at his task. _

_"You know I can't do that Harry." Remus replied ever so softly. "because I'm not here."_

_"What do you mean you're not here Moony?" Harry tilted his head to the side and questioned with the curiosity of a small child. He stopped what he was doing and walked over to Remus. Reaching out he grabbed the man's hands and squeezed them tightly. "We've been through this a million times already. I can feel you, I can see and hear you, I can speak to you and" here Harry took in a deep breath. "you still smell like wild grass. All my senses tell me you're here, so you must be here. Didn't Romulus once say to follow my instincts, which are good and nearly always right? I'm telling you my instincts are telling me that you are here, my entire being is telling me that you are here."_

_"Harry…"_

_Harry didn't pay attention. He let go of one of the man's hands and turned his attention back to the wardrobe. Using his wand he tried to adjust the object into position. He fidgeted his wand a few times, frowning as the wardrobe didn't seem to be in place. _

_"Damn it! Why can't I get this thing in place? What do you think is wrong with it Remus? This is the room you taught us boggarts, this is the same wardrobe you used and believe it or not, that is the same boggart in there." As Harry said this, he waived his arms at each object that was being described. "It's all here, it's all the same, but something's wrong, something doesn't feel right."_

_"Harry, perhaps this wasn't a good idea." Remus spoke quietly, waving his own hands at the wardrobe. "It was wrong of Teddy to ask this of you."_

_"I admit I was surprised when Teddy asked me to assist him to teach boggarts to his 3rd years and dementors to his 7th years. You know I lack teaching experience, but then so does Teddy with this being his first teaching year and all. I suppose I have more experience with boggarts though and so that is why he asked me. He thinks he can hit two birds with one stone—teach 3rd year boggarts and 7th year dementors. I thought that modeling it after your class wouldn't hurt." Here Harry stopped waiving his wand and instead threw his hands up in frustration. "Besides, there is nothing wrong with helping family." _

_Remus__ stood there quietly, letting Harry rant. _

_"What's wrong Remus? What's wrong with this?" In an instant Harry was back at the wardrobe. This time he was banging it with a fist. When there was no response from Remus, he kicked the wardrobe—hard._

_"Why can't this bloody wardrobe be where it belongs? How can I model after your class when this thing won't go where it belongs?"_

A sharp pang sliced through Draco's heart. He knew exactly what was wrong and the thing that was wrong could never be changed. Remus was dead and that was the missing piece that made Harry feel like something was different, and that something was wrong. He didn't have much time to feel this nor did he have time to ponder how real Remus appeared in these memories when the memory changed again. Draco watched on memory after memory as he was slowly brought into the past. He watched Teddy's wedding, Teddy's gradation, Teddy's sweet 16th, Teddy's first day at Hogwarts, Teddy's 11 birthday, Teddy's 7th birthday and so on. There was of course missing pieces but over all that didn't matter. He was watching as the past 25 years as seen by Harry with Remus in it swept by. All Draco could think was how it was possible for Harry to have stayed sane so long and kept this all to himself when it would have driven anyone else insane a long time ago, heck, he knew he would have gone insane if he saw his dead father everyday.

Draco's attention was suddenly drawn to the current memory as he suddenly found himself in a forest standing next to who could vaguely remember as a 17 year old Harry Potter. He was drawn in deeper when Harry put golden metal to his lips and whispered words that sent chills through Draco.

_"I am about to die."_

Draco watched as the golden metal—snitch—split in half to reveal a jagged black stone. Curious he was about to step forward to take a closer look when he noticed slight movements in the forest that suggested people were coming. Harry who had his eyes close didn't seem to notice and even though Draco knew this was a memory he felt the need to look after the man. His breath hitched and for a minute he forgot to breathe when he realized James, Lily, Sirius and Remus was standing before Harry. Harry must have felt them as well because his eyes had snapped open.

_"You've been so brave." Lily said._

_"You are nearly there," said James. "Very close. We are…so proud of you."_

_"Does it hurt?"_

_"Dying? Not at all," said Sirius. "Quicker and easier than falling asleep."_

_"And he will want it to be quick. He wants it over," said Remus._

_"I didn't want you to die," Harry said. "—right after you'd had your son…Remus, I'm sorry—"_

_"I am sorry too," said Lupin. "Sorry that…"_

An extreme pain suddenly blasted into Draco, forcing the memory to dissolve around him. When the realized what happened he found himself standing a great deal further from Harry then he had been before. He was going to say something but stopped when he noticed Harry was squatting on the floor with both arms clawing his head. The light in the room was flickering and glass began to shatter as uncontrollable magic poured out of Harry.

"No! NO! NO!" Harry screamed. "NO!"

Draco wanted to do something. He really did but he didn't know what to do. He was standing by the doorway terrified of Harry and of everything that he just witness. He didn't understand anything and all that he could understand scared him. All he could do was helplessly watch Harry struggle with himself.

* * *

A few days later when Harry had come to reflect on what happened that day with Draco, he found himself unable to blame the man when the blond had decided to flee instead of help him. After all he would have done the same if he had been Malfoy. In fact instead of feeling bitter towards the man for intruding into his memories, he felt very thankful and grateful towards his childhood nemesis.

Harry was once again alone in the staffroom. He was staring at the single object that rested on the table before him. At last after much pondering he reached out and grabbed it.

"I'm not insane Remus." Harry spoke as he looked up to stare directly at Remus Lupin who was standing on the opposite side of the table.

"I'm not insane." He repeated. "I'm not delusional."

"and I'm not here Harry." Remus replied.

"I know Remus. I know. You're dead and you've been dead for 25 years." Harry said as he stared straight into his ex-professor's amber eyes. "Why didn't you ever tell me Remus? It's impossible that you wouldn't have known. Why didn't you tell me? Were you ever going to tell me?"

"Harry." Remus began, unsure of what to say. "What makes you so sure that I'm not really here? Didn't you once say the dead 'only have knowledge up to the point they lived until, but I have continual knowledge of the past until the present. The dead isn't interactive, but I am so therefore I can't be dead.'"

Again Harry smiled sadly at Remus. Instead of giving him a verbal explanation, he merely opened his hands and showed Remus the item that he was holding in his hand.

"I couldn't do it. I was weak. I went back for it. I had to." Harry said. "It was so easy to find. It was as though I was drawn to it. Of course I didn't remember any of this until Draco had forced hidden memories to the surface. I mean if I remembered then I wouldn't have been in this mess, would I? It's been so deeply attached to me that it's like second skin; I didn't realize I was constantly carrying it, touching it."

Remus stared at the black stone for a long time.

"You were happy Harry." Remus spoke ever so quietly. "You were happy and I couldn't deprive you of that. Reality is what you believe it to be Harry. This reality" Here Remus gestured at himself "to you is reality and it will always remain reality as long as you wish it to be." Remus took in a deep breath. "Besides I couldn't do it because I'm selfish. No matter how close I got to telling you the truth I couldn't do it because I knew I was dead but here I was being a part of Teddy's life and I was apart of his life the way I'm part of yours. I was afraid that if I told you I knew you would some day accept it and then I would disappear and rejoin the world of the dead and I really didn't want that. Then when the boggart happened I realized how much damage I was doing by being here and I thought if I questioned you hard enough you might realize the truth and…." Remus swallowed hard. "even if you hate me that at least…"

"I can never hate you Remus." Harry interrupted. "I can understand your reasoning. I'm a dad to 4 grown monsters…"

Remus frowned in confusion because he was sure Harry only had 3 children. It was when he thought deeply about it that he understood. He couldn't help but smile at that.

"and I wouldn't want to have been separated from my children, not when I had a chance to be with them. Besides you only wanted my happiness, didn't you _dad_?" Harry stressed the last word. He carefully studied Remus but found there was no reaction. "I never knew James or Lily and I barely knew Sirius, but I do know you. I've known you for 30 years of my life and somehow along the way when I think of Remus Lupin, I think of Dad. It's silly since I'm a grown man and all but you're so important in my life. There is so much I wouldn't have been able to do if you weren't here. I don't think I could have raised Teddy at 17 if you weren't here to help me." Harry paused as he took a deep breath. "I think that's why it's so hard to accept that you're dead."

Despite smiling, Remus had tears in his eyes.

"I would be hugging you if I could Harry. You've grown and matured so much. I'm so proud of you son."

"So, so is this the end?" Harry asked after a few moments of comfortable silence. "I mean is this like goodbye? The last time I see you..."

"Expecto Patronum." Remus replied. "Expecto Patronum."

Harry was confused and stared quietly at Remus as though waiting for the man explain. He vaguely knew what Remus implied but still he had to hear it, he needed to hear it.

"As you know the dead doesn't truly leave the living," Remus said carefully, eying the object that was still being clutched in Harry's hand. "with or without the help of exterior mediums. I'm with you and I always will be with you Harry. I promise you that."

* * *

Harry watched from under his father's old cloak as Draco Malfoy entered the staffroom. He had sent a letter to the man and was thankful that he had come.

"Hello?" Draco asked as he looked around the room. Harry didn't reply. All he did was watch Malfoy as the man looked around what seemed to be an empty staffroom of tables and chairs. There was a single object on the table and Harry was sure it wouldn't take too long before Draco found it. He was right. The object was soon found by Draco and in an instant it was held in his hands.

From where he was standing Harry could clearly see Draco's face change into shock and surprise. He waited five minutes, ten minutes, then fifteen minutes before deciding that it was enough. He pulled of his cloak and even though he was standing directly in front of Draco, the man didn't seem to see him. Carefully he reach out one hand, making sure his hand was underneath the invisibility cloak before removing the object from Draco's hands.

The spell broke instantaneously.

"That is the resurrection stone." Harry said after clearing his throat loudly in order to bring Malfoy's daze attention on him. "I needed you to see the stone and then experience its powers so that I know that you'll believe me."

"What Potter?" Malfoy asked, still shocked by what he saw when he had touched the stone.

"I'm not delusional Draco." Harry said patiently. "I'm not healthy either. The cause behind why I've been seeing a dead man for over 25 years is because of this stone."

Harry then went on to explain to Draco in detail what the stone was, how he obtained it and the unimaginable powers that it possessed. When he was done, Draco was staring at him with wide eyes and an open mouth. If it wasn't for the situation at hand, Harry would have laughed at how undignified Draco Malfoy looked.

"I just thought that I needed to explain it to you before I rid myself of the stone and I will rid myself of the stone. I don't know why I explained this to you and not the others but I had to tell someone and that person turned out to be you. Maybe it was because you "cured" me or maybe because you're Draco Malfoy and not the others. The others wouldn't understand."

The two stood in silence as they thought of what to say to each other.

"Keep the stone Potter." Malfoy said suddenly, his words surprising Harry. "Reality is what you believe it to be Potter. You were happy in this virtual reality and if anyone deserves happiness it's you. Everyone needs their own fantasy and as long as it doesn't hurt or harm yourself or the people around you then I don't see why you can't keep it. I'm sure you can keep secrets Potter."

Harry couldn't help but laugh at that.

"What's so funny?"

"I believe that's what Remus said."

"That doesn't surprise me." Draco paused and then asked a different question. "Will you ever tell Teddy? He has a right to know."

"Not now, maybe in the future when the time is right."

* * *

The right time didn't come for a very, very long time. All those years ago, Draco had been right all along. Harry could keep a secret and he kept this particular secret a secret without it ever disrupting his life again. He hadn't told anyone of the resurrection stone or that he continued to see Remus on a daily basis. All that his friends and family believed was that Draco had successfully cured Harry of his illness. Now though that was about to change as Harry had decided that lying on his death bed after living an extremely long life was the one and only chance for him to tell the truth to Teddy.

"I'm sorry to say Teddy," Harry said the moment James, Albus and Lily had left the room. "that all that I left for you is my pensive, with all my memories of course. I believe that you will find this the most valuable gift that I can ever give you. You're not a materialistic person, just like your father. Even if I gave you the richest of the worlds, it wouldn't make you happy. This will make you happy and I hope through these memories you will be able to evoke a deeper meaning of the past, shed light to the future and find the ability to forgive your godfather for never sharing any of this with you."

"What are you talking about dad?" Teddy asked. "I don't understand."

A smile lit up Harry's face.

"You're dad's waiting for me Teddy." Harry said with absolute certainty that it frighten Teddy. Harry then gave a nod to the far end of the room. Teddy followed his nod with his gaze.

"That's the pensive?" Teddy asked.

"Yes. Why don't you go and take a look. I'm tired. I'll be waiting to answer your questions when you return."

"But."

"It'll be aright Teddy."

Teddy did as he was told. He was about to enter when he noticed a sealed letter with his name written in Harry's handwriting next to it. He held up the envelop for Harry to see.

"I want you to do me a favor Teddy. I want you to throw that away for me. I want you to go into the forbidden forest and then chuck it away. Do not tell anyone. Promise me."

"What is it?"

"It doesn't matter. Just promise me you'll do that."

"Okay, I promise."

"Good." Harry smiled at the younger man whom he always considered his first born. "Now go through those memories while I take a nap."

Seeing that Harry did look tired and he too was curious of Harry's memories, Teddy decided to do as he was told. Putting down the letter and then taking one last look at his godfather, Teddy entered the pensive.

What seem like an eternity later, Teddy stumbled out of the pensive. His entire body was shaking even though he felt complexly paralyzed by what he had just seen and heard. Noticing the letter with his name glowing eerily beside the pensive, Teddy picked it up with trembling hands. He knew even before he opened the envelop what he would discover lying inside. Still he couldn't help himself. He tore the envelop open and let the small black resurrection stone rest in his palm.

"You couldn't help yourself could you Harry? It was only a matter of time before I'll be seeing you on the other side. Then again I suppose you wanted some reassurance." Remus Lupin said as he materialized in front of Teddy.

"Dad?" Teddy asked, still not believing what he was seeing. He had been expecting something like this, but still experiencing it was a totally different matter.

"Te—Teddy?" Remus questioned with surprise.

Father and son stood there face to face, staring at each other in silence. At last Remus glanced down at Teddy's hand and noticed that he was carrying the stone.

"Let go of the stone son." Remus said quietly, brining his gaze up to meet his son's. "Let go."

"Dad?" Teddy questioned again.

"Harry must have shared the stone and the knowledge of its powers with you before giving it to you."

"Yes, but he didn't give it to me. He wanted me to chuck it."

"Then chuck it you will. You saw what it did to Harry. You can understand what it can do. Let go Teddy." Remus continued firmly. "Let go my son."

* * *

Teddy Lupin found himself standing in the middle of the forbidden forest. The trees were so dense that although it was early afternoon, no light was able to filter though. Carefully he reached into his robes and pulled out the object that had brought him here.

"I didn't expect to be back so soon." Remus said, looking around at his surroundings.

"Neither did I." Came Harry's response.

"Dad, Harry." Teddy acknowledge the two who looked like ghosts and spirits but weren't really ghosts or spirits.

"Hello again Teddy." Harry said with a smile. "I hope you enjoyed my gift. I really hadn't meant to depart until after you returned. You dad here was impatient and he pulled me away."

"I did. Thank you Harry." Teddy replied sincerely. Every single memory that Harry had shared within was precious and irreplaceable especially because it contained his real dad in it. "Dad explained it anyway." He continued. "And that's why here I am in the forest getting ready to chuck the stone away."

"It'll be alright Teddy." Harry said.

"We'll still be here afterwards." Remus continued.

"Promise?" Teddy asked childishly, suddenly unsure if he could complete his task.

"Promise." The other two replied. "We'll always be with you."

Teddy said nothing as he committed the two into memory. At last he turned his back to the two spirits and stared out at the forest. Summing his courage he threw the stone as far as he could. He watched it until it disappeared. When Teddy was sure it was gone, he spun around to look at the spots that his dad and godfather had been.

And he was relieved to discover that they were still there.

* * *

Complete! Thank you for reading. Hope you all enjoyed it. Remember to Review.


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